I think being judgmental is a natural instinct that can be used for good or bad. Good, as I mention in the video below, in that it helps us make decisions and can keep us out of harm’s way, but it can also be bad in that it stops us from being open to new ideas, cultures, and experiences. Continue reading
In this week’s Mindful Monday video, titled How to Not Hate Your Thighs, I talked about what I think is the only cure for insecurity. I call it zooming out.
In my experience, the reason I have felt insecure or entertained feelings of self loathing, is because my focus was entirely too myopic and self-centered. Which is human I know, but I believe that humans are capable of rising above their animal tendencies with the use of reason and compassion. It may be normal to feel insecure or to hate my body from time to time, but the extent in which those insecurities affect me can be dramatically altered by zooming out. Which occurs when I realize that I’ve been focusing too much on myself– when I’m too zoomed in, if you will–and that I need to zoom out. It means I turn my focus to something more important, something big picture, something that brings me joy, gives me perspective, and most importantly, reminds me that my value has absolutely nothing to do with the way I look.
I will never deny that looking good on the outside can make you feel good on the inside, but I strongly believe that the flip side holds even more truth: If you feel good on the inside you will look good on the outside. When you are fired up about life, living with purpose, and savoring the good parts of each day, you are the most beautiful. And believe me, there is no beauty product, exercise routine, or amount of attention that can match the way it makes you glow.
It comes down to this: you have to really care about something in life. You have to find what matters to you and do it. Even if it’s a hobby, or as simple as enjoying quality time spent with friends. Be present and aware of the sacred moments in everyday life. Appreciate those moments and focus on cultivating more of them, instead of focusing on your thighs.
From a health stand point, I do understand wanting smaller thighs (insert whatever body part you dislike here) and in that way, I agree with focusing on them. If you could be healthier, get healthier! But not so that you can have perfect thighs–NEWS FLASH: There is no such thing as the perfect body! Aim to be healthy; to be fit and strong so you can live with the energy that your one, precious life deserves. You have to give life your all, and being healthy is a part of that.
What I am arguing is the importance of perspective. When you are busy living and loving your life, the amount in which your thighs play into your happiness is very small. A lot of things help give me that perspective, most notably is my Blog and YouTube channel. I jokingly call them my boyfriend, my child, my best friend, etc, because I am obsessed and spend the majority of my time writing, filming, editing, sharing, and managing my videos and posts. I was lucky to learn early in life that my raison d’être is to live this life to the fullest, appreciate each moment–good, bad, and ugly–as all are precious components of life, and then share these experiences with anyone who may find them useful, entertaining, or comforting. Wether it’s sharing a kitchen gadget that squeezes SO MUCH JUICE OUT OF LEMONS AND IT’S ONLY 3 DOLLARS!! or a great book, or sharing a personal lesson that I learned the hard way, I want people to know about it and see why it’s made my life that much better so that their lives can be better too. It’s about cultivating goodness, and sharing what I’ve learned a long the way. That gets me out of bed in the morning, keeps me working all day, and gives me the motivation to continue working late into the night editing videos and plotting all of the things I want to tackle the following day. I simply do not have time to sweat the small stuff because I’m on a mission and though it can be stressful sometimes, I gotta tell you, it is the best feeling in the world. I am alive, and alive on purpose.
You can be too, just explore. Open your eyes, learn, read, watch, go, do, reflect, and repeat until you find something that you care more about than the insignificant, superficial, ephemeral problems in your head.
In the video I mentioned an organization that may ignite similar feelings of passion and purpose in your soul and that is getting involved with the Global Goals for Sustainable Development. In four days, 193 world leaders will meet in New York City for a three-day conference where they will commit to work together to make these 17 goals a reality within the next 15 years. You can get involved by picking a number that correlates with the goal you feel is the most important to you. Then tell your friends about it, take a picture of your number on your hand and post it to social media with the hashtag #GlobalGoals like Kate Winslet, Kristen Bell, and I did. The idea is that you spread awareness about these issues and help motivate others to learn about them.
What does this have to do with your thighs? Everything. Sometimes what we need is to care about something more than we care about ourselves. We live in a very self-centered world, and it’s important to realize that there is so much more to life that the moment and feelings we are currently experiencing. Right now, all over the world, waterfalls are rushing down the sides of magnificent, sun-kissed mountain sides. Babies are being born, movies are being made, policies are being written, someone just got engaged, and another just got their first big business deal. Imagine the world as montage of moments, with clips from all parts of the world, all skin tones, all landscapes, all cuisines, all modes of transportations–like one big movie trailer of life. And then take a moment to fully grasp that it is all actually happening. Right now. And now, and now, and…. now. It’s amazing. And it’s a quick way of reminding yourself that the traffic you’re stuck in is not that big of a deal. In a month from now you won’t even remember that you were in traffic, let alone in 5 years from now. Big picture perspective is everything and getting involved with this Global Goals campaign can provide that much needed perspective.
The number I chose to be a “self-proclaimed spokesperson” for is 4, with 2 as a close second. I think education has a ripple effect that can help fix a lot of the issues above such as poverty, hunger, health care, promoting tolerance, and using sustainable energy. It boils down to information and quality education. To paraphrase Maya Angelou, when you know better, you do better. I think, the more information you have, the more deliberately and compassionately you live, and that can change everything.
Quality education is so important. Not only to us in America, where education is necessary by law and to one day have a career, but also to children around the world. In some parts of the world, parents have to choose between feeding their families or sending their kids to school. They know choosing the prior means their children will mostly likely have no way to live a better life and will end up continuing the cycle of poverty. It’s devastating and unnecessary. Education is something everyone–rich, poor, male, female, everyone– should have.
I also feel very strongly about number 2, Zero Hunger. Watch the documentary Living On One Dollar and tell me you don’t appreciate every single bite of food you eat ever after. In the film, young children were licking salt off of their plates because they didn’t have any other food. They had no energy to play outside. They were severely malnourished and had to rest for most of the day until they could eat again–whenever that may be. It was horrifying, and again so unnecessary. We have the resources to feed the world. There is no excuse for hunger.
This also makes it hard to hate your body or feel bad about your fat thighs. Some people don’t have the privilege of gorging themselves on junk food until their thighs get fat. You begin to realize that hating your body is a luxury. Zoom out.
I’d like to know what your number is and why so please comment below. If it’s not one of these 17 goals then tell me, what is your raison d’être, or purpose for living? What excites you? What helps you zoom out? And while you’re sharing, what is something you LOVE about yourself or your life?
A lot of people think being positive is stupid, pointless, and reserved only for the ignorant or delusional. Here’s why I disagree. Continue reading
This summer marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I’d just made the difficult decision to leave NYC to spend the summer with family in Florida before moving back to Los Angeles in the Fall. While the decision to leave the city wasn’t easy, everything that followed was. I felt like I’d been given an opportunity for a fresh start and decided that I needed to dress accordingly. Continue reading